Saturday, 31 March 2012

Sharada Within Bombay

She was 69 and suffering from flu for a week. On 6 February 2012 she was rushed to Bombay Hospital when her condition took a turn for the worse. She died on the way passing thru the by-lanes of Bombay. 
The lanes and passages she was so conversant with. Sharada Dwivedi the lone living legend was now no more.  
Sharada Dwivedi, eminent historian , researcher and author, was hailed as one of the few who opened Bombay up to its people. Dwivedi was a product of this city (educated at Queen Mary's School, Sydenham College and Bombay University, where she earned her degree in Library Science);
(Authored by Sharada Dwivedi
and Rahul Mehrotra)
 The panoramic coffee-table book she authored with Rahul Mehrotra-Bombay: The Cities Within (1995)-was a watershed publication, breaking the old mould of 'city histories' with its conversational prose, breathtaking sepia images and broad detail. Other histories that followed (often co-authored) included works like Banganga the sacred tank at the Malabar Hill, Fort Walks, and most recently The Taj At Apollo Bunder. 
 She lived and breathed monuments of Mumbai. She was familiar with every minute detail of the old and neo-gothic structures of the city. History as though unfolded to her. She belonged to Bombay which in return belonged to her. She was a true Bombay-ite who even refused to use the term Mumbai. She loved its culture deeply. And this reflects in her work. The sheer knowledge and understanding she brought to a subject which even most seasoned city planners and politicians of today neglect greatly. 
She loved the streets and by-lanes of the city that was her home, and she dared go beyond to protect the historic identity of Bombay. She has researched history of all the famous monuments and buildings of the city and was always caring for the conservation work. She tirelessly raised funds and created awareness for heritage buildings and championed causes related to the city. She was actively involved with the Urban Design Research Institute, Kala Ghoda Association and other citizen groups. 

Sharadaji, you still endure in the heart of Mumbai. The many researchers you inspired, the students you helped, the conservationists you generously shared your knowledge with, the heritage lovers you introduced the city by your work will all miss you....but most of all, the city of Bombay shall miss you as you were the one who loved and worshiped it the most.

                  May Your Soul Rest In Peace. Thanks for enriching our lives...

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

JAI KISAN - the forgotten slogan.

First, it was Purushottam Manikrao Deshmukh, in 2003. Then, his younger son, Sunil, the very next year. And a then it was his elder son, Santosh. They all lived on credit, but died in installments, with burden of debt piling up.
(only for representation)
In four years, one family of the Deshmukhs in Katyar – a cotton producing village of about 3000 people 35 km east of Akola – lost all its men, one by one, to a crisis that has for sometime now, threatening to swallow families unto families across rural Vidarbha. Farmer, an element of growth and development of our motherland is cosuming slow poison ie. Poverty.
This thought of mine erupted from nowhere and ridiculed me about the Poor India.

On the other hand Richest India came into account when i was informed about the total travelling cost of Our beloved President, Pratibha Patil.
President Pratibha Patil's travel has cost the public exchequer (Indian citizens money) a whooping 205 crore. I was thwacked!! Being a cheapskate i drooled as soon as the freaky news channel showed the numbers '205 crores' in sometimes large, small, zoomed motions and repeated it several times. Then came list to places she visited  after assuming office "12 foreign trips covering 22 countries across four continents and spend 79 days abroad. She travelled to Russia, Switzerland, Brazil, China, Mexico, Mauritius, Chile, Bhutan, Vietnam, Indonesia, Spain, Poland, Tajikistan, UK, Cyprus, Austria, Laos, Cambodia, the UAE, Syria and South Korea" quoted the loyal newspaper. 

Travelling to different countries i know could be important for bi-lateral ties and friendly relations but travelling with large entourage doesn't make sense.
99 dignitaries, Yes I mean it NINETY NINE people accompanied Madam President which included family members, ministers,six cooks, 4 butlers, lady attendants and a stupid photographic officer. Cooks i can understand she might be food poisoned or she cant manage her diet routine or she was following the Protocol. But SIX COOKS?? Aha!!  Farmers in the agricultural pockets were committing suicides during this period and Mrs. President was enjoying her lavish vacation overseas.
When i type these words i feel like banging my keyboard and to smash it on our lame Prime Minister. Ok! its time i should calm down.

RTI applications has revealed that Air India incurred over Rs 169 crore on use of chartered aircraft, always a Boeing 747-400. Here it is.., the another revelation, matter of pride and honour. A good show to show India a bigger country by using bigger aircraft! Does it really matter?? 
David Cameron, British Prime Minister flew to India in a commercial airline that to in business class. Did this tarnish his prestige or the face of United Kingdom? Negative is the response.

Then why? I ask why our hard earned money is been spent to satisfy those greedy souls?? 
I could foresee phlegmatic Indians pouncing on these greedy souls to snatch their looted treasure and force them to pay for their misgivings.

The conditions of farmers lie in a sorry state or i could say worst state. Will this be the end of agricultural economy? or DOES IT HARDLY MATTERS TO ANYONE IF FARMER SUICIDES ?? 

Saturday, 24 March 2012

Television Usage Policy And Viewing Protocol For Women During IPL 5

There comes a time in every man’s life when there are certain things he must do and I mean DO ,Not as a Husband, Not as a Father, Not even as a Son but solely as a Man…

Once in a year an event comes which matters more to an Indian man than life itself.
IPL( Indian Premier League)
It is At this time that a man must enforce the VIEWING PROTOCOL for the IPL to not so understanding, religious daily soap viewers- WIFE’S and as a representative of all men due to my staggeringly brilliant genius awesome + humble reputation. ^o^

Therefore here is the Instruction Manual, Television Usage Policy and Directives to be followed by all Women for the upcoming weeks:

1.) The Remote Is Mine And Mine Alone: Under no circumstance are you allowed to even lay a single finger on it.

2.) The TV is also mine and I will watch ONLY CRICKET,

Yes, ONLY Cricket

Only Cricket .


     I Will Watch The Matches Live
    If The Match Is Not Live Then I Will Watch The Highlights Of The Previous Match.

3.) I Will Not Co-Operate, Adjust, Be Considerate, Try To Understand, About This, etc,etc, when it comes to the remote and the TV. Both these are under my control. If you interfere in my viewing of the MATCH by attempting to forcefully take the control then you may consider this relationship terminated and await Divorce Proceedings.

4.) If you even attempt to test me by insisting you have to watch Koffee with Karan or some related soul-sucking daily soap while the match is on then the resultant reaction from my end will lead to a catastrophe bigger than the combined nuclear force of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki atomic bombs.

5.) My line of sight shall at all times remain uninterrupted. Any obstructions in the space between the TV and my eyes such as Funny Dancing Dolls, Potted Plants, Antique Statues, or Any Type of Handicraft, placed by you will be mercilessly thrown out of the house.

6.)  NO – I will not get up and open the door if the door bell rings while the match is on

7.) NO – I will not pick up phone calls during the match

8.) NO – You cannot sit on my couch. It is a holy place because that is where my Ass will be parked along with a ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ Sign around my neck while I meditate on the Cricket Action. You may observe from afar and maintain the sacred environment. 

9.) Any negative comment relating to absolutely anything even most minute about GOD aka Sachin Tendulkar will result in immediate cancellation of Our Relationship.

10.) You are likely to hear a lot of cuss words and Maa-Behen Ki Gali against some people like Ricky Ponting, Chris Gayle, Lasith Malinga, Brett Lee, Stuart Broad, Shahid Afridi, Billy Bowden, AB De Villiers and many many more. I have no time to explain who these people are so please google if you want to know who I am abusing at a particular point in time.

11.) You are allowed to view the match with me but too much chatter will lead you to be ejected from the viewing area.

12.) YES - My Friends will be coming over every single day and I will also be going to their houses to watch the IPL

13.) If you want to watch the matches with me then especially note that only strict Cricket talk will be allowed.

 I don’t want to hear statements like:

    a)“I must buy Surf excel Powder today”
    b)Virat Kohli looks like my friend’s Son”  
    c)“Dhoni must shave more often” 
    d)“The color of that Team’s Uniform matches the color of the                                            curtains in My Sister’s bedroom” 
   e)“Simon Taufel is so cute”
   f)“Why is Raina Not playing?”
   g)“His haircut is so nice”
    Etc, etc
 Statements like these will lead to severe consequences and repercussions 

14.) NO – I will not watch what I eat. I will munch on more Chips, Samosas and high cholesterol fried food items during this week than I have ever done before. In case I collapse due to high sugar levels, then be ready to tell me scores the moment I wake up in the hospital.

15.)  NO – I will not attend any Birthday Parties, Naming Ceremonies,Wedding Anniversaries, Sari Exhibition, Shoe Sale, Art Extravaganza and wagera wagera.. .You are more than welcome to attend these on your own and remember to take the key because when you come back I will not get up from the couch to open the door for you as I will be too busy watching the match.

16.) During this time I will be more religious and spiritual than I have ever been my whole life. If you see me on my knees, eyes closed, palms folded and mouthing words then remember not to disturb me as I will be directly praying to Ganesha for the victory of my favorite team.

Failure to comply with the above mentioned directives will lead to negative results. You have been forewarned.

On Behalf Of All Men,

Thursday, 22 March 2012


If you think women are complicated, I reassure you, they ARE. Solving a Sudoku is much easier than understanding the enigma called “woman”. 
I may be too young to speak about the broad and multi-dimensional phenomenon of womanhood I don’t want to emphasize on what a woman CAN DO or SHOULD DO, I will just talk about what an average woman DOES. Nothing out of the box, none my imagination but all that is known, all that is the truth. Just what the reality is!


Womanhood is not about emotions, it is about an oceanful of emotions. The range of emotions is hugely vivid and extremely deep. Happiness, love, care, appreciation, hope, enthusiasm, anger, rage, fear, grief, despair, anxiety, surprise, apprehension, worry, envy—all runs in a woman’s blood and there is no turning away from this fact. women are sentimental. They love boundless, and hate endless. They hope for the best and worry about the worst. they get angry in a second, and melt in a moment. They care too much and fear too much. They can have more than one emotion at a time, which often comes across as confusion.
Emotions of a woman are her greatest strength and the driving force behind all the strong decisions. Emotions are an expression of femininity and not of fragility. Womanhood is all about feelings. 
Overtly active tear-glands are the hallmark of women. We don’t know when-where-why would they cry. They just do. Never ever take a woman’s tears as a sign of weakness. It is just a measure of her SENSITIVENESS. Tears of a woman could have four meanings:
Meaning 1: She is too happy and short of words to express it. These tears deserve simple acknowledgement.
Meaning 2: She is hurt and fearful. And she really is. These tears demand a sincere apology.
Meaning 3: She is in pain. And it is intense and inexpressible. These tears need genuine concern.
Meaning 4: She is just SHE. She has a million things to worry about. It may be her chipped nail or damaged hair; her dog might be ill, or that beggar child on the road, or Shah Rukh dying at the end of a movie, or the mention of another girl by her boyfriend more than twice, or a 0.000001-kilogram-increment in her weight. Anything and everything can stimulate those tear glands. And she can't control them as much as a man can't control ogling at women.
No! No man can understand the fourth meaning. The best (or the only thing) he can do is“to pretend to understand, to refrain from laughing, and to keep quiet!” She would be alright in some moments.


  • Yes! they love chocolates, teddies, kids, Shah Rukh, love stories and fairy tales. PEACE.
  • Yes! they are dreamy. And their dreams are beautiful. PHEW!
  • Yes! they don’t understand gadgets, bikes, football and maths. And we care the least. BLAH!
  • Yes! they are right in 90% of the arguments. In the rest 10%, the other person is wrong. WATCH OUT!
  • Yes! they don’t need continuous oxygen to live. they need non-stop talking. BLISS IT IS!
  • Yes! they know more than Google does. they can find out anything and everything. BELIEVE IT OR NOT!
  • Yes! There is a calendar in their brains and it registers every single date and anniversaries. And it is stored there forever.
  • Yes! they know only two adjectives: SWEET and CUTE! And only one interjection: “Awwwww!” Isn’t it so sweet?
  • Yes! they need 4–5 hours to get ready. And their time starts when others have already reached to the door. PATIENCE MAN!
  • Yes! Shopping, make-up, gossiping and giggling are their birth rights. No arguments. Full stop.


Womanhood is a constant struggle between heart and mind.
Womanhood is a continuous shuffle between rigidity and fragility.
Womanhood is a frequent shift between sensibility and sensitivity.
Womanhood is a regular alteration between stiffness and submissiveness.

Mr. 'HUSBAND' you are arrested!!

"Supreme Court Judge Deepak Verma while hearing a matrimonial case said “Married men should forget about their freedom”; in another case Justice Markandey Katju said “Do what the wife tells you and never question her authority; if wife says turn right, turn right and if she says turn left, then turn left”. 

But being non-bailable, this law has a major loop hole of arresting all accused without investigations including senior citizens, minors, mothers and sisters of husbands. 498a and other sections were soon frequently misused as a negotiating tool for alimony in a failed marriage, with no dowry in reality. Misuse later became a standard malpractice. Lawyers and police too joined the wife in the bargain, and the husband was reduced to an ATM machine. 
         Wife's started throwing out rough figures on the faces, extorting, abusing, humiliating lame husband's. After a traumatised failed marriage, a hapless chap has to deal with social pressure, names such as wife beater and sometimes impotent too.Left with no emergency exits, no doors to bang upon, only way out is fulfill never ending demands of the lady he earlier dreamt of. 
        Most Indian women used to consider marriage as a ‘once in a life time’ activity, but now, what could have changed to twist the whole story? The BUMPER PRIZE! Yes the bumper prize that one could win if they break the marriage rather staying in the relationship. Various definitions of  lottery like alimony, maintenance, residence rights, child support etc seems to be more attractive to a fairly good number of women, regardless of their age, than immaterial things like relationship, love, family, parenting etc. In order to achieve this ‘treasure’, all they need to do is to frame their husbands as ‘cruel’; and this is just a matter of making a local call.
      The question here is are you ready to be a harassed pathi? OR wag your macho tail and say "yes ji, yes ji??" when 498a holds your nerves!! I am in a dilemma after reading framed cases of dowry harassment. What if my wife frames in 498a? This question would run down my mind when i shut off the world.

MY FAQS: Always goes unanswered!!  :

Women go to the police with a complaint (may be false), but the system provides to record that as a criminal complaint and that data adds in to the National Statistics of Crime Against Women. When male goes with a genuine complaint the police at max can record a Non Cognizable offence against the women. That will never reflect in the statistics. Then how will one guage crime against men? 

Every 100 Suicides in India have 63 Males and 37 Females. Every 100 male suicides have 45 married males, and every 100 women suicides have 25 married Women. Married women suicides have default arrests of the inlaws under presumed dowry death. Married men suicides entitles wife for a 50% share in property. What kind of equality is this?

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

I Invaded someone's privacy.

After finishing off my hectic exam  I had been looking for quite some time (I need them for a secret project), I was feeling like A. Raja after the 2G auction, the treasure-hunter who had finally reached the end of the rainbow. Thus in a state of light bliss,  I floated into a Udipi restaurant to have its trademark coffee its last surviving bastions of serenely austere, gazes down indulgently at those below, squabbling and dreaming. Where ancient waiters, dressed in white, go busily about, serving the wild hunger, hearing shh..shh,  Where amidst the clattering of cups and rustling of papers and the hustle-bustle of conversation, time flows slowly like honey over raisins. And where if you keep your ears open, you will catch a bit of gossip running down the tables.
I order hot coffee and pakodas. And as I sit soaking up the sauce, the oil and the caffeine. In its stead is a flat-screen TV showing MTV Roadies. Chikni Chameli plays in the background. On the counter is a staunch muchad anna, kanada accent, ordering waiters to settle down bills.
 I sit in silence for some time, soaking everything in like a sponge. The bill is settled. My wallet is not much hurt.
As i stand to move out i managed to hear out something which made my mind scroll down the times of my schooling days.
A well dressed, 2 middle class south Indian family on the centre most table. mother of the kid sitting opposite to each other and their kids sitting besides them.
Mother on the right side speaks about the academic development of her kid-
"you know my son got distinction in history!, this exam he didn't study at all. If he would have studied he could have scored much higher marks."
I stumbled upon the table as i heard these horrified lines. I went closer to their table and started enjoying their conversation. History and distinction meant to be distinct word during my school days. "Engage your kid in activities" said the lady.
How??, said the confused one,
My son goes to school by 7.00am- comes home at 1.00pm.
eats dinner, 
1.30 extra class, comes home at 5.00pm, 
Then 6.00pm does school work, class work, extra assignment, project.
 dinner 9.00pm. 
off to bed. 
AND the same routine cycle goes on.......... Symble!! (simple) Exclaims the lady.
I was horrified to hear the time table. Invading their privacy, over hearing their gossip/ advice( whatever) brought me to a concluding point of eduction, learning, present condition of students.. Blah Blaah!! 
The kid from 6th grade having routine time table of an Engineering student. For what??? I am Aghast to this stupidity of parents. 
At the end, expectations pile up, social pressure of chacha, mama, neighbours build and frustration level rises up, Science is the best option, My kid will become doctor, engineer, pilot, even before s\he has completed 10th grade.
There is no conclusion to my invasion as it has been the same earlier and would continue; as long as the term :   GENERATION GAP    :  is not understood and accepted.



At work, you might have an independent portfolio of activities to manage. But unless you run a one-man-army outfit, you are most likely to be part of a bigger team that draws a mix of colleagues with different skills. That variety is precisely what gets the job done. Even if you are, consider a relatively non-hierarchical peer group — some bring in hard-core technical skills, others are coordinators, while a few vie to be so called leaders of the group. This peer group is separated from those on the other side of the table ie. the senior management.
Then there’s the other unique species that has mastered the art of camouflage and flourishes in the no-man’s land between the team and the management. In fact, if you search for them on internet search engines, you’ll find all the other definitions for the same word, except what you are really looking for.Hard to believe? Type out ‘moles’ in Google and see what you get on the first page – unit of measurement, small cylindrical mammals adapted to a subterranean lifestyle, growths on the skin, an isolation framework for .NET (whatever that means). No mention at all about our special friends who lurk around in offices. That’s how good they are.
But just because you don’t see them openly doesn’t mean they don’t exist. They look like regular folks, they laugh at the same jokes you make about the senior management and they also stay back late in office with the rest of the team to show solidarity.
The ability to stay below the radar helps them achieve another key function – operating in the stealth mode to make a mountain out of a (genius, you guessed it) mole-hill !!
The animosity, the negative vibes and the wrath that moles incur from the rest of the team members get more than balanced out by the support they command from the powers that be. If at all there’s a confrontation with a team member, it’s clear where they’ll get their backing from..Good people leave and moles turn to 'leeches' and stick to the company for a long run sucking blood in the process. If you’ve been on the receiving side, tough luck, my friend.
There’s also a scarier mutation of this species – the shameless mole. These are guys who started off like any other regular rookie moles, ignorant of their true potential. After years of fine-tuning their art and getting the trust of their mentors, they’ve come out of hiding and moved on to the next level. They now look at the camouflage part as an extra burden on their limited resources. Everyone knows who they are and what purpose they serve in the team. 
The flip side? So how do they continue to eke out inside information that’s so very critical for their survival. The answer – through other rookie moles who’d like to grow up and become shameless moles just like their idols. The basic modus operandi remains the same – Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
Have you had moles in your office? How did you deal with their efforts to ‘increase transparency and information flow’ between the junior guys (i.e. the team) and the senior management?

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

A new hype in small screen cinema.

It was late at night and all through the house nothing was stirring. Everyone was glued to the television, waiting for the love to unfold. And as it did, there was a general stir…people got up and slid out, until only I was left sitting there, wondering why. But since I had mustered up the crowd for this, I had to wait it through. It was not easy. In case you are wondering what I am blathering on about, it is simply this: the great love scene between Ram Kapoor and his ‘wife of convenience’ Priya was scheduled for the night of (March 12) on Sony TV, as Bade Achche Lagte hai reportedly made Hindi television soap history. Last week, as a cliffhanger, Priya told Ram as she was yelling at him that she loved him. In true Ekta Kapoor soap opera style, she said it over and over, screaming, with camera cuts and close ups, her hair dishevelled, her sari flowing, her eyes brimming over with more glycerine than in all of the soap-making world. The evening ended with Ram dragging her into a clinch, their faces suggestively mashed against each other, her eyes rounded first in shock, then closed with what could have been passion. The teasers promised huge helpings of steam and…wow!…sex.
And kya scene tha! There were close-ups that went so closeup that you could see every pore on Ram’s nose and every spot – heavily covered with makeup – on Priya’s cheeks. That was tolerable, almost, and then the director had his stars acting coy. Which caused the exodus from my TV room – a 40-something hero and a 30-something heroine should be far beyond the stage of behaving like shy teens in an old-style Hindi movie methinks. There was her face covered with a pallu that he slowly dragged away, there was a shiver as he nuzzled her neck, there was a languishing as she lay back and thought –hopefully not of England – loving thoughts of him as he made love to her. She did not seem to have much of a role to play, his tentative explorations were perhaps the only in-character and charming aspect of the whole awkward moment. The texture of the sofa cushions was more interesting to look at; what was happening on TV was embarrassing and presumably unintentionally hilarious. Mercifully,the scene cut to the aftermath, when a huge heap of quilt hides our stout hero, exhausted by the drama, while our heroine produces another dose of coy by showing bare shoulder and smiling beatifically at her man.
There will be more, with flashbacks and wifely behavior, weknow. And boy, we can’t wait to see if it all works out to be as insane as what happened late night!

Monday, 5 March 2012

RTI - Right To Increase CORRUPTION!!

Right to Information Act 2005 (RTI) is an Act of the Parliament Of India "to provide for setting out the practical regime of right to information for citizens." Under the provisions of the Act, any citizen may request information from a "public authority" (a body of Government or "instrumentality of State"). 

RTI Act was passed in order to create a transparent system in which corrupt government officials would be held by their collars to be dragged to the courts for justice. But after RTI how many officials have been dragged to court and how many of them have been punished? Do we still say
RTI made a huge impact on the workings of government agencies?? I think our judicial system is very kind to not so kind corrupt bastards. These officials are the ones who gamble with our money in which we are the all time losers and at the end we common people are left just to regret that the money we paid for the development was pocketed by some corrupt neta, the land which was supposed to be used for development was grabbed by some builder having top political connection, the mangroves land was cut down to increase the income of your elected representative(neta) etc... the list goes on, And the common man is left to bang on the doors of all the possible government Babus.
    Law of RTI has not only been teared apart by these officials but it is also generating corrupt minds to make a quick buck. Blackmailing and extortion is what RTI is been used in present times with the suo-moto of looting a person or the government agency. Does RTI any way mean to masturbate with glory of the law and create a corrupt environment? Answer to this is a Big NOO!! 
    Several times RTI activists are seen with a doubtful mind due to some spoiled apples in the basket and at the end our judicial system makes the person corrupt who opens the lid from the pot.
The struggle to pass the RTI Act can be seen in a mess where the Act for transparent workings of the government is been used for corruption business( Business because its a daily phenomena). 
RTI ACT has been left to fall flat on the face of the government. Does RTI means Right To Increase Corruption is what i will rethink of when i am off to my Bed!!